
Those of us who want to identify our Enneagram types correctly, as well as those of us who guide others, have a common intention: accuracy! But too often, one phrase or statement reminds us of one of the types in particular. As a result, we end up thinking This is it! A closer examination or inquiry into such statements often reveals a type other than what we first imagined.
In this series of 9 blogs, I take one statement we might easily associate with a particular type, but then use a lucid probing technique, which involves two specific questions that uncover the true meaning of the statement. It works like this. First, ask a question to explore the meaning of the statement, rather than making an inference from the statement. Second, explore the underlying drive or motivation beneath the statement.
Lucid Probing
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does ____ mean to you?
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to _____?
The Statement | āI donāt like being around negative people.ā
This statement sounds like a type 7, but is it? Yes, Sevens want to keep thing positive and upbeat and donāt like to be around nay-sayers, but so do several other types.
Type 7
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does āI donāt like being around negative peopleā mean to you?
What a Seven might say
āWhy be down when you can be up? Why think negatively when you can have a positive attitude? I just donāt like being around them at all.ā
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to not ālike being around negative peopleā?
What a Seven might say
āI always try to keep things upbeat. Itās all in your attitude. Negative people can affect everyone around them, especially me. Iām not like them at all. In fact, I feel like itās my job to shift the conversation to what we can do or possibilities and not what we canāt do. With the right people and right attitude, anything is possible.ā
Yes, the answers appear to suggest this person might be an Enneagram Seven. However, without the inquiry of Lucid Probing ā that is, if the initial statement āI donāt like being around negative peopleā was taken at face value and it was assumed to be a Seven statement ā an unintentional wrong typing identification is possible. Here are some other types that might easily have made the statement āI donāt like being around negative people.ā
The Statement | āI donāt like being around negative people.ā
Type 9
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does āI donāt like being around negative peopleā mean to you?
What a Nine might say
āBeing around negative people gets under my skin. I donāt mind it when someone has a complaint or doesn’t like something. But if the person is always or almost always negative, I feel tense and want to get away from it.ā
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to not ālike being around negative peopleā?
What a Nine might say
āI think it has to do with my need for everyone to get along and for there to be harmony or lack of tension, both within me, but also within groups, teams and family units. When I go to a family event, I have an aunt who never seems happy and is constantly complaining about everything. I am pleasant to her, but try to avoid prolonged conversations with her.ā
The Statement | āI donāt like being around negative people.ā
Type 3
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does āI donāt like being around negative peopleā mean to you?
What a Three might say
āNegative people are a bummer or downer. They are down themselves and they want to bring others down with them. Or, at least they have this effect.ā
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to not ālike being around negative peopleā?
What a Three might say
āI donāt want to say something negative myself, but I donāt understand why some people get so negative. Iām a problem solver, so if something isnāt going well, solve it and change it. Iām more of a ācan-doā person than a ācanāt-doā kind of person. I like to move forward, and when I feel stuck, I get discouraged, like I am not doing something right or failing at something.ā
The Statement | āI donāt like being around negative people.ā
Type 8
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does āI donāt like being around negative peopleā mean to you?
What an Eight might say
āI donāt want to listen to all this negative garbage. Thatās what it is, a complete waste of energy.ā
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to not ālike being around negative peopleā?
What an Eight might say
āNegative people donāt take responsibility for their lives. If something isn’t working, then do something about it. I donāt like people who play victims or people who want me to save them. Maybe itās my own vulnerability, but I take care of myself so why canāt they?ā
The above three examples are simply samples. Many Enneagram types might say they āI donāt like being around negative people,ā but their reasons would be different!
Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs and training tools for business professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit:Ā TheEnneagramInBusiness.comĀ |Ā [email protected]