Those of us who want to identify our Enneagram types correctly, as well as those of us who guide others, have a common intention: accuracy! But too often, one phrase or statement reminds us of one of the types in particular. As a result, we end up thinking This is it! A closer examination or inquiry into such statements often reveals a type other than what we first imagined.
In this series of 9 blogs, I take one statement we might easily associate with a particular type, but then use a lucid probing technique, which involves two specific questions that uncover the true meaning of the statement. It works like this. First, ask a question to explore the meaning of the statement, rather than making an inference from the statement. Second, explore the underlying drive or motivation beneath the statement.
Lucid Probing
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does ____ mean to you?
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to _____?
The Statement | “I don’t like being around negative people.”
This statement sounds like a type 7, but is it? Yes, Sevens want to keep thing positive and upbeat and don’t like to be around nay-sayers, but so do several other types.
Type 7
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does “I don’t like being around negative people” mean to you?
What a Seven might say
“Why be down when you can be up? Why think negatively when you can have a positive attitude? I just don’t like being around them at all.”
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to not “like being around negative people”?
What a Seven might say
“I always try to keep things upbeat. It’s all in your attitude. Negative people can affect everyone around them, especially me. I’m not like them at all. In fact, I feel like it’s my job to shift the conversation to what we can do or possibilities and not what we can’t do. With the right people and right attitude, anything is possible.”
Yes, the answers appear to suggest this person might be an Enneagram Seven. However, without the inquiry of Lucid Probing – that is, if the initial statement “I don’t like being around negative people” was taken at face value and it was assumed to be a Seven statement – an unintentional wrong typing identification is possible. Here are some other types that might easily have made the statement “I don’t like being around negative people.”
The Statement | “I don’t like being around negative people.”
Type 9
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does “I don’t like being around negative people” mean to you?
What a Nine might say
“Being around negative people gets under my skin. I don’t mind it when someone has a complaint or doesn’t like something. But if the person is always or almost always negative, I feel tense and want to get away from it.”
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to not “like being around negative people”?
What a Nine might say
“I think it has to do with my need for everyone to get along and for there to be harmony or lack of tension, both within me, but also within groups, teams and family units. When I go to a family event, I have an aunt who never seems happy and is constantly complaining about everything. I am pleasant to her, but try to avoid prolonged conversations with her.”
The Statement | “I don’t like being around negative people.”
Type 3
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does “I don’t like being around negative people” mean to you?
What a Three might say
“Negative people are a bummer or downer. They are down themselves and they want to bring others down with them. Or, at least they have this effect.”
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to not “like being around negative people”?
What a Three might say
“I don’t want to say something negative myself, but I don’t understand why some people get so negative. I’m a problem solver, so if something isn’t going well, solve it and change it. I’m more of a ‘can-do’ person than a ‘can’t-do’ kind of person. I like to move forward, and when I feel stuck, I get discouraged, like I am not doing something right or failing at something.”
The Statement | “I don’t like being around negative people.”
Type 8
1st Explore the meaning of the statement
What does “I don’t like being around negative people” mean to you?
What an Eight might say
“I don’t want to listen to all this negative garbage. That’s what it is, a complete waste of energy.”
2nd Explore the underlying motivation for the statement
What causes you to not “like being around negative people”?
What an Eight might say
“Negative people don’t take responsibility for their lives. If something isn’t working, then do something about it. I don’t like people who play victims or people who want me to save them. Maybe it’s my own vulnerability, but I take care of myself so why can’t they?”
The above three examples are simply samples. Many Enneagram types might say they “I don’t like being around negative people,” but their reasons would be different!
Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs and training tools for business professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | [email protected]
