Heart of 1

Let the reaction surface…
Cradle it gently…

This reaction…
my reaction…
is the continuing revelation
moment by moment
bit by bit
of LIFE.

My reaction expresses MY life
as it courses through my daily activity.

MY REACTION IS A SURGE OF ENERGY
involving me in life…
an affective awakening
which often finds expression as
annoyance
fervour
complaining
hurt
witty remarks
excitement

This surge of energy
with flashing quickness
leads to the forming of words and images
erupting in a dispersal of energy.

I miss the mark
when I allow my reactions to relate outside myself.

I MISS THE MARK when I allow my reactions to relate to someone
else’s experience rather than my own.

I miss meeting my own response to the
PRESENT REVELATION OF LIFE.

Instead, I involve myself in someone else’s reaction
a second-hand
a third
a fourth-hand reaction.
A whole series of chain reactions
begin and I get caught in them.

I move a protective distance
from the immediacy of my experience.

Then I ATTACH to these reactions,

and fasten to them in the form of bondage…
a bondage that is dense in energy and intense.

It is very difficult to hold this reaction
loosely
without attaching…
open and relaxed…
fluid and gentle.

THIS IS MY WORK IN THE “ONE” SPACE.

Gut sentiment
as an immediate and powerful reaction
to a stimulus
is a creative mechanism
for healthy autonomy.

It is a form of HONESTY

and an expression of DEEP CARE for myself
and for life.
It is simple, direct, and open.

When my simple, honest reactions
are not moving with the breath…
they interiorly pile up or spew out.

I get stuck in my “One” space.

Either way, in or out,
imploding or exploding,
the original, honest reaction
is not attended to.
It is judged and condemned to exile
thus separating myself from myself.

Energetically, I become rigid
and without softening
I have lost the connection to myself
that the reaction is trying to offer me.

Sentiment, gut feeling,
becomes unyielding and unbending.

RE-SENTIMENT IS BORN
a stiffening of sentiment, gut feeling.

Intense, caught-up feelings,
like anger or excitement,
become all-pervasive.

I GET STUCK IN THEM and
THEY GET STUCK IN ME.

With this sense of entrapment
I proceed to speak words
that harm myself
and others.

This leads me to a sense of isolation and terror.

When I withhold honest feelings,
true gut reactions,
or repress them in myself,
or express them without cradling them,
RESENTMENT ARISES AND INCREASES IN ME
casting me adrift from my real self.

And from that point on,
anything
– real or unreal –
fuels my anger.

To move ahead with my own REAL reactions,
those honest expressions of myself,
to let them flow with my breath
in a way that is open
and relaxed,
is
indeed
PURIFYING WORK.

This demands of me an inner sensitivity
and a willingness
to honour my gut feelings,
to create open space
around my sentiments,
my feelings,
a kind of space
that has an
E X P A N S I V E
quality,
and enables me to explore priorities
and to stay connected to the real.

This ability
to stay rooted in my own experience,
which is a natural containment and boundary,

allows the FLUID quality
of a
NATURAL
PERFECTING
ENERGY
to flow.

Rooted in an honoring of my own experience
there is now
room
for
movement.

My reactions,
initially ATTACHED to me,
can now DETACH and move.
I can participate in life itself
which is movement,
in the moment.

I myself am affected by and do affect
this very moment of life.

It is as though,
in a tiny, minuscule way,
I make history
and carve out my place
as ONE among MANY.

It is precisely this SKILL
which spiritual traditions often call
THE ATTACHMENT OF NON-ATTACHMENT,
that
is
the
CONSTANT WORK
of the
“One”.