Displaying 276 - 300 of 1,871

At New York Enneagram, we teach that a fundamental skill for being present is increasing your capacity to be with…


Raymond Carver’s iconic short story “What We Talk About When We Talk About Love” struck me like a thunderbolt when…


Values are the guiding principles by which we live or, at least, they are aspirations that help us align our…


You also have in-built connections to the Enneagram styles of…


Values are the guiding principles by which we live or, at least, they are aspirations that help us align our…


In the Enneagram literature there have been efforts made to situate the…


Values are the guiding principles by which we live or, at least, they are aspirations that help us align our…


Values are the guiding principles by which we live or, at least, they are aspirations that help us align our…


“People often worry that their kids won’t turn out the way they want them…


Values are the guiding principles by which we live or, at least, they are aspirations that help us align our…


…that’s how it can feel to talk about the Enneagram if you’re non-religious. You may be very fond…


Values are the guiding principles by which we live or, at least, they are aspirations that help us align our…


The sacred nature and dynamics of being privy to the inner life of another human being calls for a certain…


While planning and preparing for a workshop I offered in Charlotte, NC at the Charlotte Spirituality Center I was prompted…


The problem with the Enneagram…

Well, actually there are several problems as I see it. The…


I’ve been in the Enneagram arena for a really long time now…

I was introduced to the Enneagram in 1994 and started using it in my work as an executive coach and consultant in 1997. I presented at my first IEA conference in 2006 and have attended Enneagram conferences in more countries than I can remember. I served on the IEA board of directors for five years and as the Board’s president for two. And, I now realize that with this article I have officially gone from the fiery young(ish) guy with the heretical ideas about the subtypes and “Essence” to the cranky old(ish) guy complaining about how things ain’t like they used to be…

Or maybe my complaint is that things are exactly like they used to be…

Let me explain.

There seems to be a burgeoning interest in the Enneagram, which is a good thing. This is due, I believe, to the hard work of people who have been teaching the Enneagram all over the world for decades and to the accessibility to new voices and the ease of access to those voices provided by the internet. (Back in my day, I actually had to get on a plane—or at least drive a few hours—to hear an Enneagram guru share his or her ideas; kids today just need to watch a YouTube video…)*

Because there are more and more people talking about the Enneagram, I see more and more people talking about it in exactly the wrong way—gleefully identifying with our “number” rather than focusing on the Enneagram as simply a map for dis-identifying from our habitual patterns.

It happens to all of us—we are introduced to the Enneagram and immediately start to see ourselves as a “type”—that I, for example, am an “Eight” and you are, say, a “Nine” and Mary is a “One.” We become so enamored of this newfound identity (the ego loves to latch on to identifications!) that we can’t wait to tell the world “Hi, I am an Eight.” We can’t wait to tell other people what number they “are,” and we run around “Ennea-typing” dogs, cats and trees. We may even go so far as to buy a coffee mug, a t-shirt, or jewelry emblazoned with our Ennea-type number. This is natural, and forgivable for beginners to the system, and I did my share of it back in my day. It is the way humans (especially children) learn—we discover an exciting new toy, we obsess with it abuse it and wear it out until we learn a mature and measured way to appreciate it.

When working with the Enneagram, our goal should not be to tell the world what our type is, it should be to let the world see us mature into rounded, flexible, and (more-)free human beings. I should not be announcing to the world that I am an Eight (oops, did it again), I should be working to become less and less “Eight-ish.”

One of the reasons we can struggle with this transition from immature to mature use of the Enneagram because we are “Essentialists” by nature. We see objects as having some ontological, innate, unseen, and unchanging element, and we often assign some Essence to objects whether they have them or not. This, for example, is why Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa is priceless but an exact replica is not, or why we would happily wear George Clooney’s sweater but not a mass killer’s. You can’t give me a rational explanation for either of these—it is just something we intuitively feel because of innate tendency to impute an essence to objects.

I’ve written about the problem with Essentialism elsewhere in great detail, so I won’t rehash the argument here. I will say, however, that seeing our Enneagram type as something we “are” is a problem, and anything we do to proudly display our Ennea-type renders us akin to a prisoner bragging about the beauty of the bars that keep us in our cage.

This is not to suggest we should feel shame about our fixations or awkwardly contort our syntax in order to avoid using the word “type.” When asked, I have no problem saying “I am a Type Eight.” Other constructions always just seem awkward and clunky to me. But we should be very clear that when we talk about a “Type Eight” we are talking about the things a person does, not what he or she is in any sort of ontological or metaphysical way.

We should take a cue from how biologists think about “species.” The term is misleading, but also a linguistic convenience made necessary by the limitations of language. There is no way other to communicate the concept, but it also gives the impression that something exists that doesn’t actually exists—some essential element that is the determinant of whether the individual organism being considered falls into a particular fixed category. Biologists know that such essential elements do not exist, and any talk of “species” is a reference to a group of individuals that are very similar to other individuals in a given population. Biologists know that there is no single identifiable biological line between a dog and a wolf, that some dogs are more wolf-like and some less and some wolves are more dog-like and some less, but also that it would be silly to act as if we could not say “Fido is a dog, but Lupo is a wolf.”

So, the problem, to me, is not identifying as a particular Ennea-type–it is doing so proudly, and through our actions reinforce our innate and problematic essentialist tendencies. The greatest sin, in my mind, is to see our Ennea-type as an ontological category depicting what we ARE rather than what we tend to DO. We can become more flexible in what we do; we can never become free from what we believe we are.

My approach to dealing with the essentialism trap is to focus on verbs when talking about the nine Ennea-types and three instinctual biases. I am a Navigating Eight, which means that I am someone who has an instinctual bias toward Navigating more than toward Preserving or Transmitting, and I habitually and maladaptively use the strategy located at point Eight of the Enneagram—striving to feel powerful—more than I similarly misuse the other eight strategies.

I should not use this knowledge as a badge of honor or embrace it as my identity. Rather, I should use it to remind myself to do the painstaking work of developing the self-awareness to realize when I am falling into these patterns in a way that causes me (or those around me) to suffer and to develop the flexibility to act in another way when necessary.

I frequently encounter people who can’t wait to tell me their Ennea-type, or even worse, who want me to guess their type—as if they are proudly acknowledging that they are so stuck in their fixation that I should be able to see it in the 90 seconds I have known them.

I always tell them that I don’t care, and that their Ennea-type, to me, is the least interesting thing about them. Tell me what is unique about you. Tell me what brings you joy and what brings you sorrow. Tell me how your heart has been broken or how you got that weird scar. Tell me a joke or just tell me to have a nice day. But, for the love of all that is sacred, please don’t tell me about the traits you share with precisely one out of every nine people of the planet.

There are two sayings from Zen Buddhism that are useful here.

The first is: “The first mistake is to believe that there is a self; the second is to believe that there is not.” In other words, it is a mistake to believe that there is an essential core “you” in there somewhere—a little homunculus working the levers and pulleys of your psyche. In reality, there are only sensations, arisings, fallings away. At the same time, we are deluding ourselves if we think we do not fall into observable conditioned patterns of thinking, feeling and doing that can be identified and consistently grouped by others. We can’t be put into fixed boxes, but we can be put into nine messy piles.

The second is: “Zen is like soap”—we should use it when we are dirty and then rinse it off. We should not go around all day covered in Zen any more than we should walk around all day lathered in soap to proudly announce to the world that we took a shower that morning.

The same should apply doubly about our Ennea-type: We should see it as a fact that we fall into habitual patterns of behavior—thinking, feeling, and doing—without thinking that these patterns define our “essence” in some way. We should use the knowledge of what these specific patterns look like for us to help loosen the bonds of those patterns.

But if I walk around telling everyone “I am an Eight” while wearing a t-shirt with a big “8” on it and wearing a “Type 8” bracelet while drinking out of a “Type Eight” coffee mug, I look as silly as someone walking around covered in soap suds and whistling the theme of an Irish Spring commercial.

*By the way, you can find my videos at www.EnneagramVideos.com

Mario Sikora is an executive coach and consultant. Find more at www.mariosikora.com.

" target="_blank" id="new">
-->

I’ve been in the Enneagram arena for a…


[1]

        Such a broad definition suits our purposes as we consider bringing into dialogue a diversity of paths that human beings follow in order to reach a sense of purpose and fulfillment. These may be what we regard as traditionally religious, but also include any path a person follows towards his or her ultimate fulfillment. In our time science can satisfy this definition as well as many secular paths to personal happiness and joy.

Pluralism  

Each of us looks through a window onto reality. Language is a window. Culture is a window. Religion is a window. Each view of reality is true from its own particular perspective, at least if the window is clear and transparent. But none of these views provide a complete or universal perspective. There is always more. And, as the Enneagram suggests, truth is many faceted.

Pluralism acknowledges that no one religion, culture, or system can solve by itself the monumental challenges we face in our world today. We need each other. We need to listen to each other, learn from one another and be changed in authentic encounter with truths the other holds dear. The Enneagram brings this wisdom to our inter-personal relationships. I am proposing that the Enneagram can also bring this wisdom to our inter-religious relationships.

 

 I know, in my life and religiosity, I have sought for a common Truth with a capital “T”. The meaning of pluralism has been a growing awareness within me. The insight of no-independent-self as expressed through Buddhism seems to be at odds with the Christian belief in the immortality of the soul. The monotheism of Judaism appears to be in conflict with a Hindu’s ease with a pantheon of gods. Yet we can find common ground, and we often do, usually in the realm of practice rather than doctrine.

            The articulations of each tradition are different and multi-faceted within themselves as well. The richness is in the encounter with each other. And this is also the challenge because in genuine encounter we are changed. By genuine encounter with another religious path, when we are sincerely open to the other without attempting to convert or convince, we are changed. I am changed. And this is the precariousness of authentic dialogue: our willingness to be changed in the encounter, to be made new. In our time, when humanity faces monumental challenges as have never before existed, we need all of the richness of our cultural and spiritual traditions. In their meeting a mutual fecundation can occur that can create new possibilities, heal divisions and shine a light on a way forward together.

            The narrative tradition of the Enneagram particularly lends itself to intra-religious dialogue. Intrareligious dialogue is about a deep engagement within one’s own faith, tradition and within one’s own self, as one’s spiritual path becomes enriched (as well as  challenged) through an encounter with the other. It is about respect and deep listening. It is dialogical rather than dialectical. Whereas dialectical dialogue is conceptual and object oriented, dialogical dialogue is based on one’s faith experience. It is cross-cultural and transformational. It is personal and subject oriented. Imagine using the Enneagram narrative tradition as a forum for bringing panels of like religious traditions into deeper listening to, and understanding of, traditions different from their own.

I find so much resonance with the aims of Intrareligious Dialogue and the Enneagram. Through the work of Helen Palmer and David Daniels, I have come to a deep appreciation of the narrative tradition that employs panels of diverse Enneagram types. Deeply listening to how others perceive the world results in building bridges and overcoming misunderstandings. The panels allow people to speak out of their own insights and direct experience while being witnessed and heard.

The Trinitarian Nature of Reality

I have already mentioned Raimon Panikkar. An interesting place of intersection between Panikkar’s thought and the Enneagram is in the understanding of the triadic nature of reality. Panikkar suggests that there is an emerging religious consciousness that is neither monistic, nor dualistic but trinitarian (or advaitic)[2]. In his book The Rhythm of Being, he sketches how the human mind has discovered this trinitarian pattern throughout cultures and religious traditions. As he says:

 

 “Our mind discovers the trinitarian pattern because the very constitution of reality is triadic.”[3]

Panikkar has thoroughly influenced my way of thinking. Many of our traditions have become so mired in orthodoxy, and mental constructs that they sever themselves from direct experience of the fullness of life. This direct experience of essence, in Enneagram language, involves all three centers of intelligence. As Panikkar says,

 “To assume that faith can define God amounts to idolatry. Likewise, to assume that reason can define what the world is amounts to rationalism; and to assume that what our senses tell us is reality amounts to materialism. The three eyes together allow us to penetrate into the mystery of the real without exhausting reality.”[4]

Our leap beyond the limits of our rational mind does not diminish the intellect. It is our intelligence that recognizes that knowledge is more than reason. Knowledge includes love. And love is always in relationship.

I believe this is the genius of a radical trinitarian vision of reality. The Divine, Cosmic and the Human are constitutive relationships. They are dimensions of the Whole. They cannot be collapsed into a unity, nor be separated into a polarity. The relationship is advaitic, non-dual.

            For example, I love the beauty of a maple tree in her fall radiance, and the transparency of her yellow leaves glowing in the slanting sunlight. (cosmos).  What arises in me as love is invisible to my eye. It is the “more” which the beauty of the tree invites me into, the depth dimension shining through the golden maple; (divine). And then there is ”I:” a connecting, loving, witnessing consciousness. (human). The reality is a loving relation, a trinity of love, between God, World and Man, what Panikkar has called Cosmotheandric.[5]The three are interconnected and cannot be separated. Here one can recall the Buddhist intuition of the pratiyasamutpadah (interdependent co-arising) or the Christian understanding of trinity.

 

An Enneagram of Religious Personality

            In this spirit of loving inter-connected relationship I offer the following reflection about how the Enneagram and the narrative tradition might contribute to intrareligious dialogue.

 

I teach the Enneagram as part of a prison program called the Lioness Tale Prison Project,  based on a book I wrote called The Lioness Tale.[6] In the LiT-uPP program we teach the Enneagram[7] as a framework for understanding ourselves and others

We introduce the essential states described by the Enneagram as integral to the divine dimension of the cosmotheandric reality in which we participate.

             I introduce these essential states of the Enneagram by inviting participants to imagine a beautifully cut diamond held up to a light source. As the light hits the diamond, the light is refracted into color… not just one color, but many colors. Even though the light hitting the diamond is one beam of light, when it strikes the form of the diamond we experience the light as blue, green, violet— a whole spectrum of color. In the same way, when the divine light shines through our lives without obstruction—in other words, when we are transparent to this light— not only do we experience the refraction of the light, first at the entry point of love and then through all the essential qualities of the Enneagram,, but others experience these qualities as well. These essential states are what we experience when we are in the presence of someone we feel is a sage or an awakened person. These states radiate presence. From the Enneagram perspective, when we are born we are like this clear diamond, we radiate essence. And if you’ve been around a new-born you probably know what I mean. But with form, with a human body also comes pain and estrangement from this pure experience of being.

The Enneagram describes nine primary ways that human beings experience this estrangement.  Seven of these so-called fixations are the seven deadly sins named by the Christian tradition: sloth, anger, pride, envy, avarice, gluttony and lust. There are two more named by the Enneagram: fear and deceit. The Enneagram describes how personality develops as a result of particular wounds to essence and how attention correspondingly “fixates” on one of the corresponding “sins” as a means of defense, skewing one’s perception of reality. For example a “Point 6” on the Enneagram is wounded in the essential quality of Faith. They have lost trust in the fundamental goodness of reality. Their experience of the world is that it is a dangerous and frightening place. Thus a habit of attention is developed which scans the environment for threat and perceives reality as inherently threatening and untrustworthy.  They are fixated in fear and doubt due to a wound to the essential quality of faith, thus distorting their view of reality and separating them from the essential quality (in this example, “faith”) that could “redeem” them, so to speak.

The Enneagram contribution to Intra-religious Dialogue

 

With this very cursory introduction to the Enneagram I want to apply some of its insights to our topic of an Enneagram of Religious personality

 

            We’ve just explored the example of how one personality type, wounded in the essential quality of Faith, has at its root a blind spot which narrows focus on Reality in a habitual pattern that distorts apprehension of Reality in its fullness. Is it possible, that like the different personalities described by the Enneagram, that religious traditions might have both their own blind spots as well as their own unique manifestation of the diamond light? Seeking for ways to expose our blind spots,  panels of like-types talk about how they see the world. In doing so, not only do they bring unconscious habits to conscious awareness for themselves, but they allow others of different type to awaken to the fact that other personalities see the world quite differently than they do. This deep personal sharing about how we perceive our reality helps everyone involved move from habitual behavior to conscious choice and a deeper appreciation of the talents and gifts that each type brings.

 Similarly, in dialogical dialogue with other religious traditions the obscurations of our own tradition begin to reveal themselves and a fuller apprehension of Reality is made more accessible.  Through dialogical dialogue we begin to appreciate each facet of the diamond which is illuminated through the unique perceptions and cultural experiences of each religious tradition. The Enneagram teaches that by bringing the light of awareness to our unique personality structure, the energies of transformation, heretofore bound up in the unconscious patterns of personality, move naturally toward the essential quality at the type’s core. This gives access to the ennea-type’s unique gift and insight into the nature of Reality.

 

Similarly, each religious tradition brings its own unique access to reality. As the light of undivided reality hits the prism of Christianity (for instance), a unique access to personhood and incarnation is made accessible to us. Let’s say it manifests as the color “rose”. But “rose” is not “gold” which may be the particular and unique light that the diamond facet of Buddhism manifests.  Just as each personality has locked up in its shadow (or wound, or blind spot), a unique talent, intuition or access to a depth of insight into one of the essential facets of the diamond light, so too does each religious tradition when released from its narrowness and doctrinal blind spots. How religions are released from this narrowness is in dialogue with each other and through the personal willingness of individuals to engage in intra-religious dialogue, that is an inner conversation within themselves, with their own tradition and in encounter with another.

Just as a point 6 on the Enneagram does not cease to have the personality structure shaped by his/her way of perceiving the world as he/she moves from shadow to light, so we don’t give up our tradition into some eclectic melting pot so that we lose the brilliance of its particular light. Rather the illumination or gift of our own tradition is purified and deepened in our encounter with the other. This encounter does not ask for agreement or some kind of victory but for a common recognition of truth without blotting out the full spectrum of beauty and diversity revealed through the entire rainbow.

 

The Lioness Tale Prison Project: LiT-uPP

The Lioness Tale Prison Project, or LiT-uPP for short, is a project deeply grounded in principles of intra-religious dialogue, and pluralism. We have successfully piloted this transformational project at the Central California Women’s Facility, one of the largest women’s prisons in the world, with the intention of growing it both nationally and internationally.  To borrow from a title from one of Raimon Panikkar’s books, we are about creating “a dwelling place for wisdom”[8] within an institutional structure largely shaped by ignorance, fear, violence and the cultural armaments of power and control. Yet the people physically incarcerated within the prison system are not necessarily spiritually bound by it. They have within themselves the capacity, not only to transcend their physical circumstances, but to be the very agents of transformation by tapping the human, cosmic and divine energies at the center of their own being.

We teach an array of skills for becoming receptive to the cosmotheandric energy at the core of our own true nature and becoming embodiments of the essential freedom it engenders. The Enneagram is integrated into this transformational process[9].

 

In the LiT-uPP program, we are all involved– myself included– in an intra-personal dialogue with different dimensions of ourselves and our own life stories, expanding our view and cleansing the window of our perceptions facilitating thereby an openness to an awareness of reality for which we can be spokespersons.

We are also involved in an intrareligious dialogue, examining our own beliefs, freeing ourselves from narrowness and opening our hearts in compassion to the light emanating from windows other than our own. We appreciate the multi-faceted diamond of the cosmotheandric reality we share. We disarm ourselves. We soften our defenses. We recognize ourselves as part of one another. We become a community. We create a dwelling place for wisdom, even in prison, even in the belly of the beast.  If we can awaken here, we can awaken everywhere. We are building foundations for a love filled future.


[1] The Intrareligious Dialogue, Raimon Panikkar, Paulist Press, 1978, p78

[2] The Rhythm of Being, Raimon Panikkar, Orbis, 2010,  “Advaita amounts to the overcoming of dualistic dialectics by means of introducing love at the ultimate level of reality”. P. 216

[3]The  Rhythm of Being, p. 213

[4] Ibid. P. 241

[5] And in other places he uses Theanthroposcosmic.  In English the word “Man” is problematic because it has too often been used to mean men at the exclusion of women. Raimon’s use of Man, with a capital M attempts a correction.  He means Man to be the fullness of the whole Person, more than a member of a species: “human”.  Thus he doesn’t like using “human” as a substitute. I have chosen to use his preferred terminology, while recognizing the limitations.

[6] The Lioness Tale, Diane Pendola

[7] The Essential Enneagram, David Daniels, Harper/Collins, 2009

[8] Raimon Panikkar, A Dwelling Place For Wisdom, (Westminster/John Knox Press) 1993

[9] www.thelionesstale.org for more information on LiT-uPP

" target="_blank" id="new">
-->

Religion is the path we follow in order to reach the purpose of life.


""I reached out to Annie Wilde whose Twitter feed, Enneagram Reactions,…


 

The Enneagram is most often taught as a map of 9 personality types. The 9 types…


Those of us who want to identify our Enneagram types correctly, as well as those of us who guide others,…


·         Aggressive Types (3, 7, 8) are future-focused.

 

·         Dependent Types (1, 2, 6) are present-focused.

 

·         Withdrawing Types (4, 5, 9) are past-focused.

In my expansion, I propose that these groups also provide insight to consider how type not only prefers one perspective to time, but also represses another perspective to time:

·         Aggressive Types (3, 7. 8) repress the past.

 

·         Dependent Types (1, 2, 6) repress the future.

 

·         Withdrawing Types (4, 5, 9) repress the present.

It’s important to note that each type represses a time perspective from differing motivations and is manifested in different ways. Generally speaking, in my work with students, I encourage them to consider the three perspectives on time as distinct lenses of discernment. When we employ all three lenses, we are able to discern our lives with more clarity and wisdom. By focusing intention and attention to our repressed perspective to time, new insights emerge that help us with wise decision-making. For example:

·         When Aggressive Types slow down and reflect upon their pasts, they let their emotional centers catch up with their heads and bodies, and they learn from past mistakes and difficulties, helping break out of unhealthy habits and cycles. This is Sacred Delay.

 

·         When Dependent Types lift their gaze to see beyond their present circumstances, they become more open to a vibrant future beyond the tyranny of the urgent, helping them not be so focused on present tasks. This is Sacred Vision.

 

·         When Withdrawing Types choose embodiment in the here and now, they become more aware of what is, rather than what was or what could be, helping them resist unhealthy retreating tendencies. This is Sacred Presence.

When we cultivate all three perspectives on time, we live in the fullness of time. Our experience of time then transforms from ordinary time to extraordinary time. In the ancient Greek, notably in the Christian New Testament, this was the different between Chronos time and Kairos time.  Chronos time is quantifiable, measured in seconds, minutes, hours, etc. Kairos time is quali-fiable, measured in meaning, quality, and transformation. Put another way, Kairos time is the fullness, or abundance of time.

When we have a deep understanding of how the past shapes us, when we truly embody presence to the here and now, and when we cultivate a healthy vision for the road ahead, more of our Chronos time becomes Kairos time. Our present minutes become moments of Presence. We spend our time more wisely. In so doing, we live our lives with more meaning and purpose.

 

" target="_blank" id="new">
-->

Author Annie Dillard once wrote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”


Those of us who want to identify our Enneagram types correctly, as well as those of us who guide others,…


A group of university researchers found that when a speaker ascribes qualities to another person, a listener will automatically…


Those of us who want to identify our Enneagram types correctly, as well as those of us who guide others,…


Those of us who want to identify our Enneagram types correctly, as well as those of us who guide others,…